Cardoors 3 6?
by Talespinner87
Summary: Sequel to Cardoors 2 the sequel to Cardoors 1
1. Mit Heulen und Zishen

Car Doors 3 (6?)

The Return of the dead guy

Random guy: I'm not dead

Random guy 2: *whack*

Random guy: *dies* I have returned

Author's note: Well we were thinking more along the lines of Patrick returning and then dieing then returning again, but hey, go with what works

P: I'm not dead

T: *picks up R2* DIE *hit's Patrick with R2*

P: *dies*

(and now we begin our story and find our heros partying at Jabba the Hut (hereby referred to as Angry Reviewer(hereby referred to as AR))'s house without Patrick)

(but just for the heck of it)

R2: *repeatedly kills Patrick in some of the most brutal way imaginable*

(back to what we are calling a plot)

T: Hey, C3, pass me some more of that mang…I mean kiw…uh…cantaloupe juice? (man where do we come up with these things?)

C3: *still on the ground* ah…forks

R2: *standing there holding a fork over C3's writhing body* *bleep* (hehehe)

T: Fine, I'll get it myself *gets up and pours himself a drink*

AR: this story is idiotic and stupid, get out of my home

T: I'm glad you like it, and thanks for the party

R2: *beep boop bleep and for good measure bep* (I'm getting out of here)

C3: *wakes up*

R2: *tosses the fork*

C3: *CATCHES IT (AH, STUPID CAP'S LOCK)**passes out (ahh, much better)**drops fork**wakes up*wow…that was odd…mmm…cantaloupe juice

(there's a knock at the door and everyone gasps in surprise)

AR: This is so predictable

T: I know, isn't it so exciting?

(the door slowly opens and an eerie undead voice utters "Piiiiiiiiiiiiizzzaaaaaaaaaaaaa" *cough**Sputter**in regular voice* ah, my voice doctor told me not to do that anymore *cough**wheeze* man, uh…Pizza's here)

Pizza guy: And I want a big tip (wait, why didn't I say that with all the other stuff?)  
R2: *through some unspeakable means kills him*

(hours later another knock is heard and everyone ignores it. Then the door opens and Patrick walks in very angry)

T: Hmm…awkward

(awkward silence)

C3: …

R2: …

J: …

Ben: Hi

R2: *kills Ben*

P: who stole my fork?! Was it you R2?

R2: *Points tazer doohickey at AR*

P: C3? T? John? Is this true?

*everyone nods yes*

P: *attacks AR and tries to strangle him with his hands*

*Patrick's hands get stuck in the immense rolls of fat around AR's neck*

*Patrick slowly gets sucked in*

AR: Don't fight it, you'll only sink faster


	2. Intermission Mwahaha ha ha

*intermission*

T: I think we're missing part of the movie…you know with Jabba the hut

R: Naw, he's not till the beginning of the 3rd movie

T: So is this the end of the second movie? (bum, bum, bummm)

R: Hey, you looser…WAKE UP!

*Sound guy wakes up (squish, splat, bummm)

T: Okay, you need to go home and get some sleep. Don't worry, you'll find a new job like serving kiwi juice at McDonalds

W: Wait, then who'll do sound?

R: I'm all over it

*all look up to see Rocks in the sound booth*

W: Oh, gosh NO!

R: Ooh, shiny buttons

*Horrible feedback*

R: Sorry, maybe the blue one

*Waves gets electrocuted*

R: Nice *starts tapping the shiny blue button*

T: Okay…uh…well…tune in soon to find out what happens and what new juice we're obsessed with!

R: ooh, a green button

*T gets electrocuted*

W: Why the heck is there an electrocution feature on a sound board?

R: Quiet you *presses the blue button*

T: It's a safety feature so no one can quit

R: You too *presses the green button* ooh a purple button *out side view of wherever the heck this is taking place*

*huge explosion*

W: What the heck was that for?!?

T: Umm, I installed it when I was bored and wanted to see fireworks

R: Mmm…cantaloupe juice *starts drooling*

*end intermission*

*post-intermission*

R&T: This cantaloupe juice is so good *drinking and drooling at the same time*

*End post-intermission*

*uh…after…uh…post-intermission*

W: Now this is just getting stupid

*End uh…after…uh…post-intermission*

(Questions or comments pertaining to how annoying the intermission sequences are…are not welcome)…(unless it's the only thing you can think of in a review…cause we're really desperate for a  review…please review)


	3. Angry Reviewer go bye bye

(suddenly Patrick grabs a glowing breadstick and "cuts" his way out of the Angry Reader's gelatin-like neck)

AR: I always knew it would end this way…arrg *falls on escape hatch button*

R2: *beep* (He knew he would be sliced up by a glowing breadstick?)

P: *falls through escape hatch* Augghh! (bum, bum, bummmm)

C3: Sorry, I just had to do that

T: *holds up fork* don't do that

C3: *faints* ah!…forks

R2: *beep beep* (mmm…cantaloupe juice) *zaps himself*

P: Hello? can someone please help me?

T: *drops fork* fine *looks in the hole* hey you see that door over there? just go through it

P: But what about this little monster down here?

C3: Whatever you do, don't step on it

P: Okay I will! *tries to step on the monster*

T: NOOOO!

(screams of pain are heard)

T: *grimaces* I wanted to be the one who killed him *sniff*

P: I'm not dead *more screams* I' feeling better Augh…I think I'll go for a walk…I feel happy, I feel happy ugh *lays still*

R2: *beep* (foolish T, you cant kill Patrick)

T: I feel bad too R2 *snuffle*

R2: *zap* (yes, my zaps can be translated too)

T: mmm…cantaloupe juice *grabs another glass* mmm…*sniffle* so good…*sniff*

R2: *beep* (I really don't have anything to say to that)…*zap* (electrocute)

C3: is he really dead? *pokes Patrick with a stick*

R2: *beep* (I don't know, let's poke him some more) *poke, poke*

T: Let's just leave him, with R2's bad karma, he's bound to show up again

R2: *cries softly*

T: John, start the engine please, we need to go before Angry reviewer's bodyguard Phil (bobba Fett) appears

C3: mmm…P-Hill

Phil (hereby reffered to as Ph): what's going on here? *sees Angry reviewer dead and begins to laugh*

C3: wait, now that Patrick's dead, he wont be needing this fork *picks up fork* *passes out* ah…fork

Ph: Aughh where's a fork? *jumps up on a chair*

R2: *zap*

Ph: Ouch

R2: *beep* (heh, foolish mortal)

Ph: Hey, you guys better get out of here or I'll shoo you *whips out a potato pistol*

T: hmmm *picks up fork*

Ph: Augghh *flies off*

C3: *writhing on ground* ah…forks

T: Oops, sorry *puts down fork*

*Phil comes back*

Ph: Ha, *shoots potato pistol*

P: What's going on? *sits up and gets hit by blast* oh *dies*

T: Nooooo!…wait, what am I saying? thank you *jumps into millenium falcon*

*in the background, John Lester runs into the middle of the screen, pauses, looks around, and runs off*

*shortly after, Ob1 runs into the middle of the screen (still in his Captain Planet), pauses, looks around and runs off in a different direction than John)

*the millenium falcon takes off and leaves Phil behind*

T: Phew, I'm glad that guy's gone *Phil's body hits the windshield* Aughh

Ph: *in a tiny voice* help…me

R2: *zap*

Ph: Ouch

T: R2, how did you get here? and how are you zapping Phil through the windshield?

R2: It's an illusion (X-Files music plays) (all stare) uh…I mean *beep* (this is so degrading)


	4. more intermission

***Intermission***

R: We need another word for "after"

T: How about "later"?

R: Works for me…*zap* (electrocutes Waves)

T: What the heck was that for?

***End Intermission***

***Post Intermission***

T: Let's o have some uh…cantaloupe juice…man, that's a weird way to spell "cantelope"

W: *Twitch, twitch* (ow, my back *in crotchety old grandpa voice*)

R: (bum, bum, bummmm)

T: Dude, that's an old joke

R: Yeah, but…hey, you wrote that *points at Waves* *Takes out a tazer**zap*

W: *twitch, twitch* (no I didn't, one of you had the paper/pencil)

R: Are we even gonna try to argue about the fact that Waves' twitches are being translated?

T: I'm more worried about zaps being translated…and my juice is low

R: Here let me refill that…*zap* (mwahahahaha)

T: Jerk! *Twitch, twitch*(I can't believe you zapped me)

R: Hey, I wanna have translated twitches *zap**twitch, twitch* (-)

***End Post intermission***

***After Post Intermission***

W: That was so stupid I'm just gonna die *dies* (ah, peace at last)

T: Deaths are translated too? aren't we going a bit far?

R: I don't care, my twitch translation was cut off *sulks off* (I'm happy) D'oh

W: *corpse's eyes begin to tear* (This isn't much better)

T: Let's not translate everything (let's translate everything) what? no (Yes)

W: This makes no sense *explodes* (more translating please) nooooooooooo

T: I think that new sound guy is behind this (No I'm not)

R: Now that makes even less sense (that makes perfect sense) NO IT DOESN'T (uh…)

***End After Post Intermission***

***Later***

T: Later is a good transition

R: Yay, no translation (*in Waves' voice* more translations) Waves! get outta the sound booth!

W: I'm not up here (yes I am) D'oh (yay)

T: Stop that (no)

R: This is just weird, you know having a dialogue with your translation (no it's not)…that just raises more questions (no it doesn't)

***End Later***

***Post later***

W: We are not having a post later (yes we are (no we're not (yes we are (I said no (I said yes)))))

T: Didn't I say stop (bum, bum, bummmm)

R: Now I'm getting kinda scared (I love nut-bunnies (bum, bum, bummmm))

T: *walks into sound booth and tazers Waves* ah much better (that hurts)

R: What? (*twitch twitch* (uh…the french are stupid)) well…can't argue with that

T: Rocks, why are you twitching?

R: When in Rome…*looks around**sees a "welcome to Cleveland" sign* oh, now I'm really confused

T: Okay…when in Cleveland? *twitch, twitch, twitch* (I want to die (no you don't ( do so (then die *zap* (ouch (haha (shut up (make me (ok *zap* (ouch…))))))))))

R: Wait, if Waves is doing the translating, is he arguing with himself? *looks over to see Waves punching and tazering himself (take that!)*

T: It must be his inner child having a temper tantrum

R: Mmm…cantaloupe juice (drools)

*End post later*


	5. The End sniff

(Due to the length of time since the last update, we forgot where we are......so were gonna start with everyone on a place called Donut bar.)

C3: Mmmm...Donuts (drools)

T: Yeah so uh, how do we get some? No ones here.

Yoda A.k.a. Toby: *floats over to the cash register* Help you*cough cough* how can I?

T: Huh?

Toby: Help you how can I?

T: I don't get it

Toby: JUST ORDER A FREAKING DONUT!

T:eh?

R2:*zap*

T: Oh, I'll have a coconut cream

R2: *zap*

T: Make that a Boston cream

C3: Mmmm...coconut boston. (Drools)

R2: *zap*

C3: Oh sorry, could I have a boston cream with coconut?

Toby: Like a fork with that would you? *holds up a fork*

C3: Ahh...forks (passes out)

T: I'll take one *Grabs the fork*

J: Rowrr

T: yeah it's for later

P: Hey, why is everyone taking my fork. Give it back! *starts hitting T with Toby.*

Toby: ow, hey, put me down you must! Die I will! Ughhh!

C3: NOOooo Not the Donut man!

T: Hey free donuts! *jumps behind the counter* Mmmm...mango juice.

R2: *zap* (hey there's more forks back here) *holds up a huge box of forks*

C3: AHUGH!...box!*explodes*

(Due to the karma or lack of it C3 gets put back together and then explodes again and this is repeated till R2 puts down the forks)

Captain Planet: what the heck am I doing here?!

*Captain Planet disappears*

*Ghostbusters music plays softly in the background*

J: Roarr

T: your right John we need to get off this planet. It's weird.

OB1:*Runs across the swamp * Where is he? I hear his music!

*Bill Murray steps from out of nowhere*

BM: Hi

*BM walks off the screen. Music stops*

OB1: Ok that was different *walks off into the sunset*

OB1's voice from very far away: AHHhh it burns!

T: *jumps back in the ship* John let's go somewhere with non-dangerous furry animals.

J: Rowrrr (meh)

* The ship takes off and suddenly sees a floating with no distinct shape*

T: what's that?

Ginger *woof*

T: C3? A little help?

*C3 is in a pile of scraps on the floor*

T: oh...what about R2's bad karma? Did he finally do something good?

C3's scraps: Oh yeah, I forgot about the karma *is put back together*

T: Ok so what does woof mean?

C3: woof = schlafen mit hecken und zischen

T: In English please!

C3: sleeping with howling and hissing.

T: Oh.........well, that doesn't make any sense

R2: *Beep* (since when did any of his translations make sense?)

C3: Mmmm...cantaloupe juice.

T: Would you stop talking about Cantaloupe juice R2?

* suddenly the ship gets sucked inside Gingers secret base* (Squish splat bumm)

***Intermission***

Rocks: Why the heck do we still have that sound guy?

Waves: Meh (*beep*) ...please kill me, it's the only humane thing to do (cries)

Rocks: Works for me.

***End Intermission***

Ginger: *Bark, Bark, Woof, scratches ear*

T: I don't understand you or C3 so umm...someone get this dog a translator!

C3: I'm a translator

T: Good, glad we cleared that up! Now what did she say?

C3: Meh, I'm going to Moe's

T: Uh-huh, well I guess that's ok. Go ahead Ginger...C3 I need you to translate R2's gibberish

R2: *zap*

T: Like what does zap mean?

C3: It means..."Me need beer"

T: Everybody were going to Moe's! Mmm...cantaloupe beer (drools)

C3: Mmm... mango-kiwi-cantaloupe beer (drools)

R2: *zap* (why can't I die? ) (cries)

T: yeah let's go *jumps out the 4th story window*

C3: weeee *splat*

J: * slides down firemans pole* Groarr

T: I don't know John, where the heck do we get this stuff?

C3: Who cares? It's a party!

P: And they made it into a movie called, Star Wars!

**THE END**

***Role Credits***

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**POST END**

T: Hey that's great that you decided to find out what happened after everyone had their hangover! But I must ask why? Don't you want a happy ending? Stop being selfish.

C3: Mwahahaha

Waves/R2: Please kill us, that would be a happy ending for us

T: See what you readers have don? Forced us to cruelly mistreat Waves *Tazers Waves* just for laughs!

C3: Ha Ha Ha, now I have all the tormenting devices and with your bad karma, *R2/Waves cowers in fear* you'll never stay dead!

Waves: you people are cruel! I'm going to destroy the big ball thing whatever it's called in this fic, by myself...and R2.

R2: Yeah

C3: Not if I have anything to say about it *Chains Waves to the wall & endlessly tazers him* Weee!

T: That's right it's the readers fault for this! *holds up a fork*

C3: Aughh...Fork! See what you heartless people are doing to us? *picks up R2 and starts beating T with him*

Waves: That's it I'm coming after you the readers! I WILL KILL YOU ALL!!!

*Special announcement*

Car Doors™ is made possible by viewers like you :)

*end announcement*

Waves: AND THEN, I'LL STRING YOUR GUTS OVER A 24 MILE RADIUS!!!!

C3: *summons a horde of Russian Furbies* get 'em

T: Just so you know, the way we destroy the reincarnation star is by shoving 2 shiny robots into space which reflect the ray and turned the star into a lawyer. So you the reader have loosed another evil into the universe.

*Russian furbies (drinking Russian furby mango juice) start beating random people with forks*

C3: Oh no not again *curls into fetal position* Ahhh... evil Russian furbies drinking Russian furby mango juice with forks

Waves: (sigh)

R2: (sigh)

Random person being beat by furbies with forks: (sigh)

C3: We haven't even killed Patrick yet, look how your evil is corrupting us.

P(the real one): I was just informed of my role in this fic...I'm disgusted and refuse to read them anymore!

P(the fic one): (Dies a painful death)

P(real): (sigh)

Waves: (sigh)

R2: (sigh)

Rocks: (sigh)

Waves: Rocks! Why are you sighing?

Rocks: I don't know, my face just started to hurt.

Waves: (sigh)

T: Well we do have episode 1, 2 and 3 to do so goodnight everybody and thanks for all the juice.

C3: wait, how are we supposed to do 3? We don't even know what happens.

P: well, judging by this fic, I don't think that will hinder you any (dies) what the heck?

T: We aren't using you in episode one... and if we have to we'll make up episode 3.

Waves : If the current trend continues, just make the whole thing of the very controversial Padme'/Anakin affair. Man this series sucks, at least there are some good game...

C3: Or we could make the 3rd episode out of origami


End file.
